You’ll have kaleidoscope eyes. Flashes and flares of color that don't exist for others.
A spectral nose that smells things that aren't here. Toast, cats, food.
There will be an ocean where your brain should be
with tidal waves of TV static.
Except when there's a thunderstorm instead. Lightning burning it's way across your scalp.
It feels like loss and mourning
Like " oh what's his name?" “What's the word I'm trying to say?”
You'll just pick other words that don't sound as good. Less smart.
And when this happens you'll need to go to the dark quiet room, but you won't want to. You're tired of resting.
Of being alone with only your own thoughts.
Of missing out while friends and family play games, watch movies, have fun.
Of being a ghost of yourself
With covered eyes in a dark quiet room.
Your life will be small. So very small. And you'll watch others live big lives around you.